How the Best Keep Getting Better
The game of leadership, in almost any company, is invariably rigged against the masses. Every level one rises is one level closer to a bottleneck of positions – there are only so many at the top. Fortunately not everyone always wants to level up, and this eliminates some of your competition. Some only want to move up for the status and money leadership roles tend to bring, but don’t have a calling to lead people. Unfortunately, there’s still everyone else that doesn’t fall into one of those categories. As we’ve all heard at some point in our career, life isn’t always about what you can do – a lot of it is about who you know. You can get a leg up by finding a mentor.
Why do we need a mentor? Because no one gets anywhere alone. A lot of times this advice is meant to encourage professional peer networking and is leveraged by calling in favors for a myriad of reasons. A couple of examples might include:
- You want to get a leg up on an open position in a sought-after company.
- Who do you know that works there?
- You need a recommendation for a contractor who’s going to offer fair prices, show up, and do reputable work.
- Who do you know that knows someone good?
This same principle extends to learning skills and growing your career. If you reflect on your career as it’s happened so far, it’s extremely unlikely that you’ve received no helpful hints or assists along the way. We all start somewhere, and we all learn from someone. As you’re looking to continue that forward trajectory, an advocate is priceless when it comes to being recommended for development.
If you have someone who’s been pouring into you sitting in The Room Where It Happens, the chance that your good work becomes a topic of conversation increases exponentially. If you’re connected to someone you no longer work with, maintaining that relationship will give you an empathetic shoulder to lean on when you’re facing a rough situation. That person will be familiar with your strengths and weaknesses and will also know what you have left to learn. That same person can likely also offer you access to performers that deliver with elevated skill and knowledge that you otherwise may not be able to engage. In any case, leadership is simply a game of managing relationships. It pays to maintain relationships that have already been a benefit to you.
Let’s say, though, that you’ve been through the leadership ringer and feel you’re quite the expert on whatever may come your way. I get it, truly I do. It remains undeniable that mentorship can still help all of us for the following reasons, among others:
- A mentor can amplify blind spots.
The higher you go, the less honest feedback you tend to get. Your higher-ups calling the shots may stay at the ready to criticize, but this is largely true for the people that report to you. Power changes how people talk to you (even if you wouldn’t want it to). Managers are often unable to avoid the us-vs-them pitfall. It’s not in your team’s best interest to include you in the daily dramas and goings-on, lest they pay an unforeseen consequence. You’re not an equal to your team. Your reports are not your peers. When the cat’s away the mice will play! Sadly, you are the cat.
Try as you might, it’s unrealistic to believe you’ll always have a clear line of sight into all of the important factors that contribute to a situation. Allowing someone to widen the lens and address multiple angles can only serve to sharpen your skills. A seasoned mentor will be able to catch the things you may miss by being too close (even if you’re not close enough to be in the group chat).
- Loneliness is a leadership liability.
Many leadership decisions can’t be processed publicly. If you don’t have a strong relationship with any of your peers (which corporate America has seen to making it relatively difficult to do), or if you’re simply peerless in your region and digital resources put a natural gap between you and venting to someone appropriate that you know well, it’s can be difficult to work out the stresses of high-stakes decisions. Even if you call a friend, their lack of context gives them limited ability to support, not to mention limited buy-in to the outcome. They may sympathize as someone close to you, but not being able to give details that are inherently understood puts up a barrier to feeling truly seen and heard.
Emotional regulation matters more than strategy, and how a leader feels often determines how a culture behaves. A mentor can stand in to help you sort out what to do and can serve as a vacuum for the negative spillover. You need that ugliness to go up or out, not down to your team (and up isn’t always a good option either). Mentors can offer a confidential space to think clearly. Isolation can lead to burnout, rigidity, or just pure overconfidence.
- Mentors help you separate ego from impact.
Leaders often confuse having authority with being effective. Just because a decision is your call to make doesn’t make it a guarantee that you have the right answer. A mentor can challenge your self-narrative without threatening your role. Growth requires someone who isn’t impressed by your title, and leadership maturity shows up in who you allow to challenge you beyond what you can see today. If you’re under day-to-day pressure with no funnel or outlet you won’t be able to avoid a narrowed perspective. A mentor will be able to remind you that today’s crisis isn’t the whole story. How will what you’re going through impact next month, next quarter, or next year?
- Experience shortens the learning curve.
Ever been truly underwater with no idea what happens next? If so, you know during those times you’ve never needed partnership the way you do in those moments. You want the fast track to learning what you need to know before your plane takes a nose dive. Mentors help you avoid mistakes you don’t need to make, and pattern recognition beats raw intelligence. They’ve already lived the consequences you’re still theorizing about.
Once you have your feet under you, if you have an interest in continuing to grow you have to learn how to delegate at every level. Scaling leadership requires releasing control, not tightening it. If you have an objective observer who can guide you into a more balanced grip on what to keep close and what to let go of, you can not only work more efficiently more quickly, but you can delegate areas of responsibility to your team to grow them more quickly as well.
The best leaders are never self-made. Every strong leader stands on borrowed wisdom, and independence is not the same as maturity. Has someone come to mind in reading this that you may owe a call (or a thank you)? I’m sure they’d love to hear from you! It is endlessly rewarding to watch your protegés return and reconnect.
If no one comes to mind but you can clearly see value, head over to my About Taylor page to learn more about engaging in mentorship with me.